Vampire Heist: Session 1

Our vampires awaken on a beautiful, rainy evening. The sky is dark, the third quarter of the waxing moon hidden by a solid layer of cloud, and the rain is constant and steady. They go about their usual evening routines in preparation to head to The Rymer.

Hidden inside one of the old industrial buildings on the banks of the river Lea in Stratford, The Rymer is London’s most well-known – within select circles, of course – refuge and social gathering place for members of the preternatural community. Like many of its clientele, its interior is wholly at odds with its exterior – outside, a gray utilitarian concrete block, inside, a cosy faux-Victorian pub. For all its fake trappings, much of authenticity is stored here: centuries of books line the shelves built into the walls, chosen more for their aesthetic than their contents, and the rich mish-mash of fabrics used in the upholstery reflects the widely varied origins of those who have frequented the establishment over the years.

Zalia, Hiedra de la Vena, comes from Madrid, and has her sights set on an astrolabe belonging to her sire, which is held in the British Museum’s collection. As a well-practised thief, Zalia is well aware of her best assets and distracts from the work of her hands with flamboyant dress. On this evening, she’s dressed, as always, to impress, and puts up a psychic block by way of umbrella to shield her from the rain as she makes her way to the Rymer.

The bar is staffed by one of the two proprietresses, a Gorgon named Euryale (she/her). She wears sunglasses to protect patrons from her petrifying gaze, but has been known to flip them up at problem customers. She means business when it comes to keeping her establishment in order, but most of the patronage are grateful for her protective presence. She’s dedicated to keeping the Rymer as a safe space for the preternatural, and as long as you behave, you know you’re safe with her.

It’s early on a Tuesday night, and the Rymer isn’t especially busy. The werewolf support group sits at a table in the corner – it’s the monthly pre-full moon meeting, and they’re a bit tetchy. A dryad appears to be on a date with a troll, giving the impression this may have been a blind date.

Zalia walks in the door and Euryale (and all her little snake heads) turn to see who it is. Zalia scratches the chins of a few snakes as she says hello, and Euryale takes Zalia to the function room, which Countess Marya Zaleska (she/her) has booked out for the evening.

Etta, a Celtic druid turned when a stranger came to her circle’s camp, spent a lot of her very long life wandering before settling in what is now known as London. She’s tried hard to assimilate into modern society, and she’s watched society change countless times. She has a predilection for shiny things, dresses well, and lives high above the city in a penthouse flat. Though she has many business partners, she has few friends; she’s well-acquainted with the Rymer, at least, and is a frequent patron. She walks in with a normal umbrella (all the better to blend in with) and sidles her way around the walls of the Rymer in her usual fashion. Euryale watches this with the patient fondness of watching a cat do their weird little rituals before greeting Etta and taking her to the function room.

Meanwhile, in the smokiest, dingiest bedsit in Camden (“some random goth’s apartment”) to see a naked Theodore sliding out of bed without disturbing the person next to him in it. He gets dressed in a metal band crop top and ripped jeans. Theo was once a regency-era rake, social within the nobility while having fun with drink, gambling, and all manner of vices. After an upheaval in his personal life, he went to dark emotional places, and dark physical places, like New York’s punk and metal scenes in the 1970s and 80s. He was turned by a one-night stand but knows very little about his sire other than she was beautiful, and never really cared to find out more. He presses a kiss to the forehead of the man in the bed, steals some money from the man’s wallet, lights a cigarette, and heads out, using his denim jacket as a makeshift umbrella. Euryale, clocking Theo as he walks into the Rymer, starts pouring his customary tequila shots before taking him to the function room.

Felicity Collinsworth sits in an office high above the city, dressed in quality, luxury clothing, flicking through reports. Her family’s business is what might be colloquially known as import/export, and they move magic items around the globe discreetly and irrespective of who’s buying. She was taken off the streets and turned by the man she now calls Father, who made her his heir. She has a conflicted view of her upbringing and status: grateful for what she has, resentful of the way she gained it. She is not a typical patron of the Rymer, and stumbles her way in, seating herself far away from the bar to keep attention off herself.

At the table next to Felicity, the werewolf support meeting is in full swing. They’re in the middle of doing a round-robin check-in with everyone, and Felicity overhears:

Gerry: Hi, I’m Gerry.

Werewolves, in unison: Hi, Gerry.

Gerry: I’ve had a pretty good month. I did...I did get fleas, but that’s under control now.

Werewolves, scattered: Aw, Gerry. We’ve all been there, buddy.

Euryale, unfamiliar with Felicity, brings over a glass of water and asks if she’s there to see the countess. Felicity says she is, and that the water isn’t to her taste; could she have AB-? Euryale smirks and says she’ll have a look, and she’ll bring it to Felicity in the function room.

Nneka is cleaning up the activity room of her church after a meeting. Her West African church’s congregation is primarily comprised of vampires who organise protests, strikes, and various community support activities. She came to London from Trinidad, and was turned by the leader of her church. She has her hair in long braids which she just got done, and tucks them into a bonnet as she prepares to go out in the rain. She appears to be in her late 30s, was turned around 1850, and dresses like a 1950s housewife. She apologises for being late when she arrives at the Rymer for her very first time, and asks for a glass of water. Euryale says, “Aw, honey. You’re here to see the countess, aren’t you?” She hands Euryale a bar towel and a glass of water, and takes her to the function room.

A large polished wood table (rounded corners, just in case) in the centre of the room has three high-backed wooden chairs on each of the long sides, and seated at the head is Countess Zaleska. She wears a drapey black chiffon dress, and a ring set with a large, bright green jewel on her right hand. She has a wine glass at her seat, but of course, she never drinks...wine.

The countess is fairly well-known to most of our vampires—not Zalia, who was in Madrid, nor Etta, who simply doesn’t care about what vampire nobility is up to—and her story is a common tale within the community. She came to London 90 years ago from Transylvania. She was unaware of the wider preternatural community, and initially tried to integrate herself with the human community. This went predictably poorly. Because she’d made herself so visible, she was thankfully easy for the kinder members of the preternatural community to locate, and they helped her fake her death and go underground. She’s very melodramatic – every bad thing that happens is the greatest tragedy ever to befall anyone, and every good thing is a miracle of otherworldly grace. She insists she’ll never try to participate in mortal society again, but she can’t stay away and always tries it once every decade or so, before she realises it’s a bad idea and swears it off forever.

Euryale places a goblet much like Marya’s at Felicity’s place. Felicity knows Marya from various high society functions, and Theo and Nneka at least know of Marya—Nneka met Marya once at the singular protest Marya ever attended, after which the countess decided it was not her scene. Everyone sits down at the table except Etta, who stands against the wall behind her empty chair.

Marya welcomes the group and reiterates the mission statement; she confirms that they are welcome to pursue their own items and she will happily bankroll whatever they need to accomplish this goal, as long as they also pick up her own ruby bracelet, on display in room 47 on level 3. Intel has provided locations for the items everyone is after: Zalia’s (or rather, Adosinda’s) astrolabe is in Room 42, Teddy’s ring is in Room 63, Etta’s brooch is in Room 50, Felicity’s chess piece is in Room 24, and Nneka’s papers are in Room 18.

The countess informs the group that she has anonymously purchased tickets for them to the British Museum’s annual fundraising gala. It’s an after-hours event beginning at 6:00pm three days from now. Entertainment for guests is planned in the Great Court, with a string quartet from the London Philharmonic providing music, dinner in the exclusive Members’ Room from 7:00, and a preview of the new exhibit on Hawaiian funerary practice in Room 30. The board of trustees as well as many high-profile donors will be in attendance, and security will be high.

Zalia asks about the security triggers, but the countess doesn’t know the details of the security system. Theo asks whether they’ll be expected to wear something fancy, and the countess gives him a once-over before offering to buy him suitable clothes. Felicity looks around the room with barely-concealed disdain, unsure whether everyone else in the group is up to the task. Zalia is good at reading a mark—though she does not steal from vampires (any more)—and can tell from looking at Felicity that she’s wealthy, and notes a healed scar on her chin.

Theo crosses his boots on the table and asks if they can trust Felicity. Felicity says she cannot disappoint her father and mother if she wants to live, so she has to be trustworthy. Theo sneers, “Well, we certainly can’t disappoint Father and Mama, can we?” Nneka looks at Theo like a mad auntie, trying to get him to get his boots off the table. Felicity casts aspersion on Theo’s lineage, and he agrees with her that she shouldn’t interrogate it. Theo was once nobility, so he’s enjoying Felicity’s posturing; he thinks about how they grew up with similar starting points but clearly veered in different directions.

Etta is watching from the shadows, observing the banter and clocking the personalities in play. Nneka thinks that despite their differences, they’ll be able to work together. Felicity and Theo agree.

While everyone else has been speaking, Zalia’s been studying the map. She suggests a plan of attack. Felicity points out it’ll be suspicious if they don’t attend dinner, and suggests that the plan not go into effect until after dinner. She doesn’t expect security will be very high, which makes Nneka wonder whether everyone’s items will have the same level of security on them. Zalia’s astrolabe is made of gold, and Felicity’s chess piece is made of walrus ivory. Theo says his ring has more sentimental value than material worth; it’s made of wood (it’s actually made of gold and enamel). Zalia asks Etta about her item, and Etta speaks for the first time (startling Nneka, who’d forgotten she was there) to say that it’s a small brooch made of ivory. Theo comments that it sounds like a flashy item for someone like her. Zalia gently chides Theo and says that Etta is a much wiser person than all of them. Etta says they’ll be shocked by the amount of flash she can show when it’s time.

The vampires continued planning their route through the museum. Theo noted that the string quartet might cause a problem, and they’ll either need to be taken out or their silence bought. Etta thinks their silence needs to be permanent; Theo likes the way she thinks. Nneka prefers the plan of buying their silence, but Theo points out that’s not as fun. Felicity points out that Room 18 is a large room, and Etta notices it’s a bottleneck. They debate starting at 47 and working down, or starting at 18 and working up. Nneka notices there are two entrances on the map. Theo points out that he can walk down the walls outside if they end at 47. Nneka wonders aloud if any of the other vampires can turn into mist and clocks that Marya’s eyes got wide when she said that, though Marya said nothing.

Felicity asks if Theo can stick to anything or just walls. He replies, “Ceilings, floors, whatever you want.” Felicity says the only problem then is trusting one person (Theo) with all their effects. Nneka asks if Theo’s trustworthy; he replies, “I may be a bitch, but I’m not a liar. I’ll keep all your stuff safe.”

Just in case absences are noted, the vampires decide to create forgeries to replace the stolen items. Nneka thinks her papers could be forged with some ease; Marya regrets she no longer has her thrall, Sandor, to handle this sort of job for her, but Etta has a contact who can help. Zalia points out that Marya’s bracelet is probably difficult to replicate believably, as are a few other items. Etta thinks her brooch can be easily 3D printed, and a passable copy of Felicity’s chess piece can also be made. Etta sits down in a chair, and offers a few items from her collection to replace the stolen ones that can’t be forged/3D printed. Marya hands over a black and white photo of herself wearing the ruby bracelet. Theo sketches his ring for Etta.

Nneka tells everyone that she once saw a movie, Ocean’s Twelve, and wonders if the replicas have to weigh the same. At the mention of Ocean’s Twelve, Felicity rolls her eyes and takes a large swig of blood.

Those who previously rolled high to know Marya’s backstory know that Sandor, the aforementioned thrall, betrayed Marya before disappearing; no one really knows what happened to him.

Felicity asks which security company has been hired for the event; the countess will get her this information later in the week, before the gala.

The countess and Felicity order another round of blood, and Theo tries to order absinthe. Euryale tells him not to push it, but brings him a glass of modern absinthe with the ladies’ blood.

The vampires finalise their plan: beginning after dinner, they plan to hit Room 18, 24, 63, 50, 42, and 47 in that order, and then Theo can take the items out a window.

Sometime between Tuesday and Friday, Nneka hands over a copy of her papers to Etta, who doesn’t look closely at them; they are, above table, records of sale for a young woman, aged 13, among other people. Etta awkwardly but carefully folds the papers and puts them in her pocket; Nneka gives her a piece of candy, which Etta holds gingerly between her fingers as she closes the door.

Marya lets Felicity know the security detail for the evening is to be provided by Ravenswood Security, known to be magic users and provide security against preternatural/supernatural beings. She knows the company is owned by Henry Ravenswood, against whom Felicity’s family has run up several times.

Unable to take a day trip to case the joint themselves, the vampires take a virtual tour of the museum on their website, in addition to tapping Felicity’s family’s familiar Fred (an 82 year-old man, still hanging in there for the promise of immortality) and some of the younger human members of Nneka’s church congregation to go for them. The church youths have Fred do TikTok dances in front of all the exhibits to surreptitiously get videos, providing the team with locations of items within rooms, and the locations of security cameras.